My own worst enemy!

My whole entire life I have had issues with my body and the way I looked. I didn't like my ankles, my butt, my chest, etc. the list literally goes on. I was pretty much skinny my whole entire childhood and going into high school. I was only 130 and wore a size 5 Jean, but I always felt fat or not pretty enough. It got worse my junior year of high school when they found precancerous cells on my cervix and had to remove them, from the gas, I gained 10 pounds and the depo shot didn't help. So I went from 130 to 160 and went from a size 5 to a size 11, it was horrible. Everyone thought I was pregnant and spread the worse remors about me. Luckily my senior year I lost most of the weight and was back to my previous size and was starting to be happy about myself. I still didn't like certain parts of myself, but I could live with them. I got married and two months after being married I found out I was pregnant. I decided that I would just eat anything and everything I wanted and I got pretty big, but after having him I lost a lot of the weight. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter when Finn was four months old, I did the same thing. I ate whatever I wanted and I didn't care. I gained so much weight once again. I got up to 195. After I had her I didn't really eat healthy or workout, I just did whatever. It took me along time to lose any of the weight. It took me two and a half years to get pregnant with henry and when I did, I tried to eat a little healthier and I craved salads, but I still ate allot of junk. I unfortunately had to have a csection with him and I was in so much pain after having him, I didn't really care how I looked or what I ate. I lost some weight after having him, but not enough to where I would be happy. When I got pregnant with my fourth and last baby, I decided to tie my tubes and to not eat so unhealthy and I was going to kick it into high gear once I had her and had the all clear to start working out. I had a csection with her, so I had to wait 6 weeks, but I ended up waiting until she was about two month old before I started to workout. I didn't change my eating habits until after New Years and I really started to workout, walk on the treadmill, etc, but after a week I kinda gave up. I ended up loosing 20 pounds so I went from 195 to 175, but to me it's not enough. I want to be back to a size five and have my husband proud of me and look at me like he did when we were just starting out. He still loves me and still wants to do things with me, but if I can't love myself then how can someone else.

I'm finally going to take the time and introduce my whole family!

Chase and I have been married almost 7 years, I met him my senior year of high school and we have been together ever since. We said I love you at two weeks, got engaged on Christmas, which we got together December 8th. He has been the only consent thing in my life. We have had plenty of ups and downs, but we have always stuck together!

Finn came into our life two months after we said I do! At the time we were both working at a grocery store and I was so sick. Chase ended up leaving the grocery store and getting a job at a place called accent and it still wasn't a good enough job, so my aunt called and my uncle got chase a job being an electrician and things finally started to look up! My pregnancy with Finn was horrible, I kept going into early labor and I started bleeding, and to top everything off chase got laid off. We moved back to Missouri with my parents and chase had a really crappy job. We were really struggling and couldn't get on our feet. Finn came into the world on April 21st 2009! I finally got induced after spending most of my pregnancy in the hospital. He was the most loving, adorable baby. We spoiled him rotten and he slept with us. We had a lot of problems with my mom and step dad after Finn was born so we moved in with my brother and sister in law, and when Finn was four months old I found out I was pregnant again. Chase and I decided that the best thing for our family was to move back to Louisiana and give our children a better life.

My pregnancy with Chloe was a lot like how it was with Finn. The first couple of months it went by rather smoothly and then towards the end, I was in and out of the hospital. Our little girl came into the world June third 2010. She was so tiny... She really tested chase and I, she was so good during the day and then at night, she would be up all night screaming, we found out she had colic, and on top of it chase was laid off! He finally got a job, but it was all the way in Oklahoma! We decided that all of us would go, we lived in a hotel room for 6 months. It was so hard, we had to eat out every night, and stay in one room. Once that job was over we moved to Mississippi, we moved into a cabin and it was really nice, we celebrated Finns second and Chloe's first birthday there. We loved Mississippi and the beach, the food and the people. Sadly the job ended and we were on to the next state and next job. We moved to Texas! Sadly during this whole time we were trying to have another baby and nothing happened. I was so sad and so discouraged. I saw doctors who told me that I was in perfect health and that I will have a baby when the time was right.

I finally got pregnant with our little henbug! Everything was finally going the way I wanted it to, we had two and a half kids, we had a home, and chase had a good job. But sadly my grandma passed away in October and we found out my mother in law had lung cancer and we didn't know how much longer she had. We took a trip to Missouri in July and my mother in law passed away July 3rd. It was one of the saddest days, my mother in law took me in and treated me like her own daughter, helped me with Finn and loved every single one of her grandkids equally! Dealing with the loss of my grandma, my mother in law and having a baby took a toll on chase and I both. Henry came into the world on January 13,2013. Everything with his birth went wrong, I was only dilated to a four, so they did a foley bag, and then started medicine and popped my water. I went to a eight really fast, but then stayed at a eight. They gave me another hour, to see what would happen, but sadly nothing did. I had to have emergency csection.

Right after we had henry, chase got laid off, we got evicted from our house and our car got reposed. We moved into a extended stay hotel and was begging everyone we knew for money. Finally we threw our hands into the air and decided that moving back to Missouri was the best thing for us, we moved in with my grandparents and chase got a job and we started to save up money. Chase has changed jobs a couple of times since moving back home, but we have our own house three doors down from my grandparents and they help us out so much. I keep feeling like something was missing in my life. I always wanted a huge family because I was an only child. So we decided to have another baby. Little miss B came into our life. Just like every other pregnancy I had issues. Thankfully nothing major. We decided to have a repeat csection and miss amelia came into the world on September 22, 2014. Our life hasn't been easy and we have had to go through more then anyone should have, but we have pushed through it, stayed together and have worked everything out.

Why does it have to be a fight!

every morning my oldest two kids give me a fight. A fight to eat, get dressed, teeth brushed, etc. I always wake them up at the same time every morning, everything is exactly the same. I wake them up at 6:30, I give them breakfast, brush their teeth and then get them dressed, but every time my oldest fights me to get up, to eat, to sit still, etc. my daughter always takes her sweet time to eat, she always eats so slow. It could take her an hour to eat one banana. I love my kids, but I just don't understand how the same thing we do everyday could be so hard.

He's leaving!

It's that time again. Chase (my husband) works out of town and he's leaving tomorrow. I love that he's making money and he enjoys what he does, but it sucks when he has to leave. We get into a routine and then he leaves and it throws everything out of whack. It does make our marriage stronger though, we learn to appreciate each other a lot more, but there is a lot of things that suck. The kids miss him, I miss him, he misses out on homework, hearing about school and watching our youngest one grow. The kids miss him so much and you can only call and Skype so much.

Welcome to my crazy life!

Hi my name is Erica bader and I have been happily married to the love of my life for 7 years. We moved around so much and dealt with a lot of hardships, pregnancy issues, money issues, etc. we've had a lot of ups and downs, but we have always worked through it. We have four amazing children, Finn is five, almost 6, Chloe is four, almost five, henry just turned two and miss B amelia is four months old. We also have a golden retriever named Molly. Our life is never easy, but it's fun, rewarding,and very hard but we always push through!